This is a subject that I’ve been grappling with for almost two decades. How does one become a truly spiritual person yet still seek true love and even make love? Many spiritual traditions demonize women, feelings of lust, and any other “sensory” or “corrupt” feelings. However, I am of the opinion that if your thoughts and purposes are pure that spirituality can still coexist with a layman’s (non-clergy/monastic) lifestyle. A layman’s life has many more distractions than a clergyman’s for certain, however, one can see one’s obstacles and even distractions as character builders (or “karma builders”).
I believe some orthodox religions have gone too far in even outruling music and dancing as if they were something sinful and unwholesome. Many also outrule alcohol and gambling; yes in excess they can lead to one’s downfall but in moderation or for mild entertainment cannot kill a person. Absolutism is something to be watched out for as even the Buddha believed in the “Middle Way” (between extreme asceticism and a luxurious existence) and Taoism believes in moderation.
Now, many people have differing opinions on true love on how it pertains to spiritual practice and spirituality. One of mentors sees it as more difficult to achieve spiritual development having found their true love; I am guessing that it comes down to having found happiness but it being a diverting or distracting factor or a large time commitment. Another mentor described it as a “lovely struggle” and like meditation it’s about dissolving difficulties. As a romantic, I think it is a great thing so as long as one’s path is already established and one has focus and maturity.
I do think had I found true love at age 22 I might have gotten lost in it and thought of it as its own goal. Also, I may have given up truly pure paths and become overly dependent on my significant other as a source of happiness and salvation (which can all come crashing when a person breaks up or can be a source of refusing to break up when it’s time).
That’s that! Have a great day! 🙂