Recently, as I am 33 years old, I’ve been thinking about friendships. Being 33 years old, it means that some of my friends are stepping into the arena of marriage or at least long term relationships. It appears that many friendships are taking a backseat to careers, marriage, family, and other responsibilities. What to make of it? Is this the case for everyone or only for some who are trapped in the snare of impending responsibilities?
To add, male-female friendships used to be far more common when I was younger, namely between ages 17-23 years old I wonder why. Was everyone so innocent that physical or emotional attraction was not a major factor in developing a purely platonic and wholesome/caring friendship? Were there fewer responsibilities, long term relationships, and obligations/restrictions on these relationships? Perhaps most people have not developed themselves as people yet but have “brought sexy back” later in life? I don’t know, though I do feel there are definitely more roadblocks to a good male-female friendship than there was when I was 10-15 years younger.
I bring up the second topic as there is a magic in friendships between females and males: there is an earnestness, honesty, and openness/sharing that doesn’t always occur in purely male-male friendships. I, being a male, cannot attest for the quality of female-female relationships, but male-female relationships can have some of the bonding factors of male-male friendships while also giving the wholesome emotional sharing found in a romantic relationship minus the drama, sex, and heartbreak. So what gives? I guess there is a growing wisdom that your romantic partner should be your go-to and number 1 confident in all situations – that’s asking a lot, but does the alternative involve cheating? Does this involve cheating, in an emotional sense? Well, perhaps, yes and no – if that information or interaction is kept secret (maybe out of “shame” that there is someone else that can solve a problem?) then maybe yes. However, I hope to still engage in the power of platonic relationships long after I am married, but will confide any and all information discussed as well as consult with my partner’s comfort level in each interaction and relationship.
I will also try to negotiate and stand up for friendships as too many friendships are canned purely on a spouse’s jealousy and temperament (even if bears little to no threat to the relationship). I view that as throwing the friend or friendship under the truck. A real friend will stand up for their friend even in the face of a jealous (and wrong) loved one. Unfortunately, I’ve been on the receiving end of this truck rolling in the past, though it doesn’t change how I view or prioritize friendship – it’s a result of one of my mentor’s who had instilled in me the importance of friendship and people. I mean, in romantic relationships… things can all be dandy, and you’re sharing your life story and your inner most feelings and the next day you may never talk with them again or they may find someone else they like more and just run off – what gives?
That’s it. A very informal post, but something that addresses a very real topic.
Have a great day! 😀 Friendship, yeah!! 😀