Operation Burnout

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Of course, things are going well overall: I took a trip, minimal bad things have happened, I saw beautiful scenery, I have a new perspective on my life, I actually have more money coming in from different sources etc.  Also, as my laptop screen broke last Thursday, I used that as an opportunity to drive from Castroville to LA to visit some friends.  It was a great weekend and full of food and friends.  I drove to San Jose and Oakland after that to visit friends and pick up a laptop that my friend Zhibo donated to me.  I also rescued my hard drive so I should have all the files backed up, and also I’ve used http://www.backblaze.com for $5/month to eletronically back up all my files.

On the other hand, I am feeling some serious burn out.  I have a few more resumes and cover letters to finish in this cycle, but perhaps an accumulation of things are weighing on me:

– I’ve applied to close to 70 jobs since I’ve left Maryland on August 15th, 2014.  I’ve officially earned job online revising a guy’s resume.

–  Ever since landing in California, I’ve decided to live out of my car to save money.  Although I’ve only recently started sleeping horizontally in my backseat, which have afforded me more restful evenings, it’s past the point of being fun.  I can’t truly complain because I’m living hte dream, but I do feel physically and emotionally exhausted for several reasons related to this living accommodation (ie – dealing with or paranoia regarding the police, sleeping in weird positions, the cold California nights [bone chilling!] )

–  Increased time meditating: this technically should be a good thing, but meditaiton is a cleanser of the mind, body, and soul.  Also, sometimes the cleansing process is not fun and can be straight up brutal.  I guess that’s part of the process of spiritual development.  The human condition is full of sin, regrets, and negative emotions (in addition to the positive attributes), and there is no greater time you feel it than when you’re deep in meditation or crisis.

–  I am new to resume writing and there always seems like there is something new to learn, and due that factor the new launch of this side career is quite exhausting.

–  I’ve recently started reading and practicing Minimalism: this is a big step for someone who’s been very disorganized and had ADHD for all of his adult life and even part of his teenage life.  In fact, I had two panic attacks and borderline nervous breakdowns the first two days I started the program because it was so contradictory to everything I’ve done in the past 17 years.  I decided to continue with the journey and have found out how easy it is to accumulate physical and mental bagge and also how much consistent discipline is required to keep life at a minimal.  I’ve actually cleaned up and threw away a lot of stuff in my car since and have provided a decently organized environment for myself and have a good program for organizing my personal life for the first time in my adult life.

–  The desperation of the job hunt is quite a energy draining effort.  I refused to accept failure and pushed through difficulties.  In many ways, I was successful, but I am freakin’ tired.  Like tired and burnt to the core and I am several days late in delivering this cover letter due to the computer issue.

–  I’ve been recommended to visit Washington State, and I plan on leaving today.  Of course, I left that detail out when interacting with my dear parents who will probably read this on their plane to China.  I’ve read some details online and realize:  it’s some 900 miles away.  I hope I come out of it alive!  lol

I think the major thing is a combination of major life and paradigm shifts combining with some different and alternative living conditions.

In the long run, I’ll be fine, but right now I’m burning with the heat of passion, desperation, change, and basically a revolution of the mind.

In other news, I am making progress in my martial arts, and despite the common assumption that martial arts coaches or practitioners are somehow immune to pain, emotions, or change, I have to say I am still hamming it out in life despite the recent progress and personal revolutions.  No one, including martial artists, are immune to pain, flaws, or opportunities for growth (esp. outside of the realm of martial arts), but the it the fragility of the facade and the ego which displays to people what certain martial artists want to present or how they would like to be perceived at the risk of appearing vulnerable, not invincible, or just a human being.  However, I have to say martial arts is a great damn road map and guide to life and I recommend it for anyone who wants self-improvement, fitness and health, and guiding principles  which continue our development as human beings.  I guess, these ideas will help to improve myself as a coach when I return to Maryland.  Without the martial arts, I would have given up on this journey long ago.

That’s it for now.  I have faith in the process.  Also, I believe in guardian angels, but more on that later.

Have a great day!

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The Silent Backer

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So someone has been secretly putting money in my account without my knowledge and without revealing themselves.  Seriously, I’ve been the recipient of approximately $400-500 in the past 3 weeks without knowing who!  I mean, I’ve borrowed some money from family members and friends recently to tie me over, not so much that it would seriously burden people and I certainly don’t continually ask people for funds like a leech.  I try to be self-reliant, generous when possible, and not a burden on people.

So how did $200 show up in my account 2 days ago?  Only heaven knows, and one or two people/beings/deities.  I don’t know how, but I am seriously thankful.

Most importantly, I’d wish the money would fill in my account from my blood, sweat, and tears rather than someone or something’s generosity, but I am forever grateful.

I am also surprised how frugal I have been in the past 3.5 weeks and was expecting my account to be a lot lower in spite of the donations and because of the tickets I have had to deal with.

I will forever remember this generosity and will be sure to pass it on to others the first chance I get.  I have had thoughts of starting a publishing house someday as I am learning the in’s and out’s of the writing, editing, and publishing experience.  In fact, I downloaded a free eBook from http://www.authorspublish.com recently and just finihsed reading it.  Ugh, I just saw that misspelled word, but I am too tired ot fix it and that too!  😀

There is another website that is mentioned in the book: Preditors and Editors.  It’s a website identifying cheating, scamming, and indecent publishers.  The eBook also touches on a lot of Writer Communities… it’s some thing I might look into , but I also might do it alone as I feel until I interact with proofreaders, the writing process is a pretty solitary (not lonely – as you ccan be in a room full of people and feel lonely – I’m with myslef and being good opmany with myself as opposed to missing and wishing about people – in fact, I remember reading a quote attributed to Oscar Wilde in a book but could could never find the quote on the internet: “Solitude is a wonderful thing when one is at peace with one self and there is a definite task at hand.”  I cannot find it, but I am at peace with myself 8-9 moments out of 10, and am happy about 9 moments out of 10, sometimes 9.5 times, and thus one of the books I hope to publish is a book about the science of being happy and provides a framework for people to achieve it – that was a long aside) act, and requires a lot of reflection, artistic work, and a decent routine to keep the pages churning.

Anyway, love, peace, and all that jazz for everyone!

Have a great weekend.

For all the martial arts fans, I totally recommend the blog :

http://www.wulinmingshi.wordpress.com   wonderful recounts of famous masters and events.

I am amidst of working on a blog post about how martial arts has saved my life.  Perhaps it’s almost a book idea, but for now I’ll stick to a long multi-part blog post about how martial arts has saved my life and taught me life altering and saving  and imrpoving lessons.  Yes, another misspelled word.  😦

Science, Art, Living, & Happiness

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Well, I’ve been thinking now as I am in between revising a tutoree’s paper and job hunting.  I have a few minutes to jot down a few thoughts.  I realize that what I am aiming for most besides a newfound career and mastery of an art (martial arts) that I am practicing, and besides the aim for happiness (which I am achieving), I am also aiming to find or acquire the Art of Living.  Everyone has a guide and everyone has a path/road map to navigate in this world, but only a few people can really steer their boat effectively in the turbulent tides of life and remain balanced or even prevail in its tumultuous, unpredictable crash of waves and whirlpools.

So what of it?   I realize on what hand, as I am writing a book about happiness and some framework on how to achieve it (I feel it is part art, but there is a great part of science to it combined with effort), there are parts of the Art of Living I am still learning to improve in.  This could include cognitive roadblocks, such as being too hard on myself and trying to master an aspect of life too soon, as well as scheduling and organizing roadblocks, such as run-on sentences, sleep and wake up schedules, maintaining consistent energy levels through out the days and weeks, and fitting in my professional and spiritual/writing/martial arts responsibilities.  Surely, the Art of Living is a lifelong pursuit, but I feel having achieved a level of happiness has helped me along; so is the Science of Happiness a part of the Art of Living or the other way around… is the square a rectangle a square or a square is a rectangle…I feel I am taking crazy pills, he’s got nothing, NOTHING!  (~Mugatu, Zoolander).

Also, please contact me if you are interested in reading my draft of a book explains a framework necessary for happiness – either as a fan or as a critic/editor/proofreader.  Thanks!  You can email me at chingyinwriting@gmail.com or contact me in which medium we are already in touch with.

I also want to thank my Uncle Steve for talking with me and discussing public transit, social inequality, and ways that we can correct institutional inequalities over the weekend.  He has worked for 42 years for Minneapolis’ public transit system including planning and creating bus routes.  He also feels an ideal city is one in which the usage of a car is not needed much or even obsolete.  He is not a big fan of the “big, metal boxes” that we separate ourselves in.  Also, the emission difference between public transit and the use of cars are dramatically different as well as the usage of space.

I suddenly have a deep yearning for A & J’s Taiwanese hot soy milk in Rockville, MD along with the deep fried dough.  I recommend it to everyone; it’s on 355 Rockville Pike.  Yum, yum, yum.  Here I am in California which has the coldest evenings in the world; I was awakened around 5am because the temperature and quality of coldness was so biting.  I feel the coldness soak into my bones no matter what I wrap myself in, and even when I drive and blast the heat in my car, as soon as I turn the car off then the inside of the car becomes cold within 45 seconds.  This type of “heat suck” is more intense than Maryland and Minnesota winters; at least in those temperatures, when you are able to raise the temperature in a place, shelter, or vehicle, the surrounding climate or environment does not suck it all away in seconds.  Very strange.

It is the yin to California’s “positive” yang.  Yep yep.  I still find this place to be inspiring, loving, and friendly.

I do miss aspects of Maryland though; my trip is halfway through already and I need to start making plans and accommodations with how I am going to spend my winter and read of my residence in Maryland.

Have a great day!  I am thankful each day that I am able to try and pursue my dream; it means more to me than almost anything in the world now.  Even the not-so-good days are bearable because of this fact.  Take care.

Apolcalypse vs. Awakening

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So it has come to my attention that humans are not exactly heading in the right path as far as the environment and world peace is concerned.  Natural resources, nature reserves, and even the nutrition in our foods are being depleted in alarming rates.  While we, as a people, have come a long in human rights and have also improved some of our foreign relations between countries and groups, war is still a major factor in this world and war over money and power at that.

So what of it…. what is we can do is a major question to be asked.  I also ask that as this current keyboard has no question mark, so I have to pose the question as a statement thank you very much.  Back to reality, oh, there goes gravity…back to the topic.  The path that humans are heading down, there aims to be two solutions; either the situation will become so dire, so low, almost to the point of our extinction before we decided to make a change.  This means we’ll wait and procrastinate until there are no other options before we make change because desperation and the threat to our own self-preservation will be our prime motviating factor – peace, love, and compassion ensues later as a result.

The other option is that we change as a group by a spiritual or paradigm awakening in which wholeness, love, equality, and the respect for Earth takes over.  This is happening on some level, but it is not at a level that can slow down, stop, or even reverse the impending damage – it’s like trying to stop a 10 ton truck with a few action hero figurines.  Surely, that movement will be stopped easily.  We need a stronger and more global force that contains compassion, wisdom, and love as it’s guiding force and not simple ideas of self-preservation, selfishness, and a sole focus on materialism, economy, and nationalism.

The End..

Becoming a Writer II (Deux – Doo – Do?)

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Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.” – Otto von Bismarck 

Yes, yes.  This relates being a writer too: it’s not always a pretty process.  Better to just see the result! Haha. Being a writer is not easy, however, I like how it opens up our inner world and at least for myself, it allows me to explore it, inspect it, relive it, reflect upon it, and use it for philosophy and fiction and other pursuits.  It also is another arena for me to gather about the ugliness of myself and the beauty, and the “blah” mundane, ordinary, and plain moments of my life.  Writing is a self-propelling process with many “on” days and many “off” days and so many self-created obstacles to keep us from creating the best work we can.  There is just a lot inertia when we create something without any outright external pressure or deadline or schedule.  In a way, I love it.  It took getting used to it.  However, I find I’m getting so into “making a living” and finding jobs, I’m not really writing enough damn, good writing that I actually want to create.  I have been putting some work into some books that I want to publish, but those are long term endeavors.  Okay, back to our scheduled intro…

Well, I’ve some serious writer’s block/burnout in regards to my blog in the past 2 weeks.  A lot has happened including having gotten a more long term official gig, getting scammed and finding out in due time, meeting a Native American artist from the tribe “Yuk-mon” from Washington State, a surfer from New York, another guy named Steve from England, and some interesting connections between various people I’ve met:

– Two “Steve’s”

–  A topic I wanted to write about called the “Apostle 13” as many people I’ve met had biblical names including a: John, Emmanuel, and Paul.  I think all three are biblical names, let’s bring more!  So interesting.

Also, I’ve got accused of living in a car about 5-6 times last week and congratulated about it 2-3 times – one person has lived in a car, another has heard a lot of successful people have at some point, and another said I was an artist and I’m on the right path.

Right on!  Also working hard on the book of mine and learning of some areas I can learn more:

– publishing industry and perhaps starting my own someday

–  WordPress and how to make websites and pretty blogs

–  the editing process

–  the various job responsibilities and editorial make up of different resumes in different fields

–  how to complete a book

–  how to balance making a living as a writer with becoming an artist in the written form; passion vs. needs

–  how to write damn funny proposals to get people’s damn attention

–  how to be persistent in my dream because I almost lost my job for performing an assignment incorrectly and had to beg for a second chance – in my opinion it’s not okay to break the rules but bending the rules is another story

–  I still need to spend more time on sociology and I hope to talk with my uncle who has held a high position in a state public transportation department for years – he can tell me about urban planning and how to make cities accessible and commuter-friendly.

Lastly, I’ve had quite a few lonely moments recently, some moments where I thought I can no longer take living in my vehicle (I want a home, a campground, something to reside in and a place to be horizontal when I sleep! :), some real realy inspirational and joyful moments, and some good moments of meditation as I’ve increased my meditation load in the past 3 weeks.  With the Medicine Buddha and God as my witness, I want to complete my meditation training course.

More to come.  Thank you everyone for helping me to pursue my dream, and yeah, the California ticket ended up getting processed:  a whopping $323.00.  Thank you Cali.

Have a great day.